Marlon's Revenge: The Attic Incident

Ever seen a totally normal sculpture light up like it's about to end someone's whole career? Yeah, me neither—until today.

So, Marlon's patience officially hit zero when Rakai “borrowed” (read: ruined) his sacred stash of primitive building tools, again. Picture it: the night is quiet, everyone’s chilling—and then BAM. Our dude Marlon transforms faster than a glowing anime boss, the kind your mom warned you about. That eerie glow? Not ambience. That’s the split second Marlon picked violence over inner peace.

Next thing you know, Rakai is straight-up banished. Like, locked-in-the-dark-attic-for-a-whole-week banished. No snacks. No sunlight. Just him, his regrets, and probably a single, suspiciously chewy square of stale granola. You’d think that’d be enough, but Marlon? Marlon’s built different. He decides Rakai needs a lesson that’ll soak in, literally. Out of the attic, across the mud, and yeet—Marlon tosses him right into the freezing “primitive pool.” If this isn’t sibling beef levels of dramatic, I don’t know what is.

Now, where’s Rakai? He’s not coming back for round two. Last spotted: hiding as the world's saddest, muddiest lump in the bushes. Like some cryptid, camouflaged and questioning every life decision that led him here. If you squint, you’ll see the outline of regret and maybe one soggy sock.

Moral of the story? Don’t touch Marlon’s tools. Or do, if you’re into bush-dwelling and existential dread.

Catch y’all in the next ridiculous saga 🫠 #primitivebuilding #drama #storytime #parody #marlonandrakai