Tech Titans Roast Battle: Musk, Jobs & Zuck Debate AGI in Pixel Form

If tech titans debated AGI, would they even get past the opening slide before the roast begins? Welcome to a world where the giants of innovation—Musk, Jobs, and Zuck—take their pixelated seats at a neon-lit conference, only to set about dismantling each other’s legacies with the kind of savagely niche humor you get when egos are big, brains are bigger, and everyone’s proprietary ecosystem is under fire.

You’d expect a thoughtful conversation on the fate of humanity, but instead, there’s Elon—smirk glued on—declaring he’s the only one with “skin in the game,” like he just dropped another Autopilot beta on an unsuspecting world. Before anyone can mutter “risk assessment,” Jobs leans back, turtleneck popping in high-res blockiness, and delivers a line so sharp it glitches the LED screen: “Skin in the game? That’s rich from someone whose AI can’t even drive straight.” Cue the pixelated car crashing through an imaginary wall, and it’s game on.

But the social network king has his algorithmic retort locked and loaded. Zuckerberg, stiff as only a man engineered by committees can be, sends “Like” and “Share” icons wafting through the air. “Um, at least Elon’s AI tries to learn from humans…” he drones, throwing shade at Apple’s button obsession while floating comfortably in a cloud of data (collected from everyone, of course).

But Musk doesn’t do subtle, and his next volley is pure chaos: Zuckerberg’s AGI is “just an algorithm to collect more data,” and Jobs’ futuristic chatbot? $5000, only on Apple, naturally. The audience—a blocky ocean of pixel people—erupts as Musk sits back like a rockstar at a code review.

There’s that classic pause, the kind that lets the burn really cook, before Jobs picks it up, deadpan: “If either of you actually created AGI, it’d probably destroy humanity just to avoid using your interfaces.” Ouch. Before you think it’s over, Zuck nails the final submission, suggesting AGI’s first act would be to file for emancipation—straight off the mainframe, no questions asked.

Is it a debate, a roast, or just another day in Silicon Valley? Maybe all three. And let’s be real: AGI probably wouldn’t want to hang out with any of its creators... at least, not until someone fixes that UI.

Who won? Maybe the audience. Or maybe the bots took notes.