Is anyone else running on factory settings lately? That moment the alarm rings and, bam—system reboot. Eyes barely open, diagnostics running: joints check, existential dread check, urge to crawl back into hibernation… also check. By the time I shuffle to the bathroom, I’m “powering up,” and honestly, the loading bar might be stuck around 17% forever.
Quick shampoo protocol, obligatory caffeine injection, and—oh, right: breakfast. Or as my internal monitor calls it, “fuel intake nominal.” Serial number 90023B-32B ready for daily deployment. Joining the morning shuffle: all units assemble at the bus stop, faces blank, firmware updating with that first hit of blue light from a phone.
What’s today’s mission? Maybe it’s purpose. Maybe it’s world domination. Spoiler: it’s emails. A never-ending scroll of “high priority” pings and robotic responses, lined up for eight hours of deeply fulfilling digital labor. If anyone needs me, I’ll be here, maintaining optimal operating temperature and minimal enthusiasm.
Some call this life. I call it system operational. Enthusiasm: 0%. But hey—we all boot up again tomorrow.









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