Ever notice how any family gathering can go from peaceful to absolute chaos just because someone’s had one sherry too many? Christmas at my house is basically an Olympic sport—festive jumpers, cringe tunes, and, apparently, track and field events across the flowerbeds.
So, picture this: it’s Christmas Day, everyone’s merry, but my mum? She’s absolutely flying on sherry—living her best Mrs. Claus fantasy. Next thing, she’s decided the best way to get back to the house is to leap the flowerbed like she’s in the finals. Well, gravity had other plans… her heel snaps back, there’s this glorious reverse somersault (10/10 for drama) right into the Holly bush, legs in the air and everything.
I literally froze, just staring at the green abyss that had swallowed my mum whole. My dad’s next to me, so I turn and, in the calmest voice I can manage, go, “Me mum died in the holly.” For a brief moment, it did look that way.
Here’s the twist—she was fine! Just a tad prickly and, honestly, even more dramatic for the next hour, but completely unscathed. Christmas carried on, but nobody trusted the flowerbeds after that. Tell me you don’t have a family Christmas drama that can top that—I dare you.



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