The Art of Nonviolent Communication: 4 Key Components š£ļøā¤ļø
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Strict use of scripts:āSo, what is nonviolent communication? Simply put, it's a method where both parties eliminate aggression and communicate with sincerity and goodwill, ensuring effective communication. The book outlines four key components of nonviolent communication. The first is observation. The opposite of observation is judgment. For example, if your partner, letās call them āGrace,ā tends to be short-tempered and difficult to deal with, saying āGrace is difficult to get along withā is a judgment. However, saying āLast time I was three minutes late, and he got really upsetā is an observation. Saying āGrace has severe procrastinationā is a judgment, whereas āGrace always spends three hours getting ready before we go out and is always late for datesā is an observation. When we communicate, we should focus on expressing observations rather than judgments, as judgments can feel like criticism and cause resistance. The second component is feelings. The opposite of expressing feelings is sharing thoughts. If Grace hears that you complained about him and says, āYouāre criticizing me behind my back; you donāt trust me at all, and I think you donāt love me,ā heās expressing thoughts. If he says, āYou talked about me with others, and that made me feel sad. I feel like you donāt trust or accept me, and itās disappointing,ā heās expressing feelings. We should aim to share feelings rather than thoughts during communication. Expressing feelings helps establish connection and allows us to defuse conflict by revealing vulnerability. The third component is needs. The opposite of expressing needs is making accusations. For instance, if Grace shares his dissatisfaction and you respond, āIf I had told you directly, you wouldāve gotten mad, weād argue and stop talkingāI was too scared to say anything,ā thatās an accusation. If you say, āI was worried youād get angry if I brought it up, but when Iām tired, I also need an outlet to express my emotions,ā thatās expressing a need. Accusations arise when we are overwhelmed by emotions and either submit or become aggressive. Expressing needs, on the other hand, means we put aside emotions like fear or guilt and genuinely communicate what we need, becoming masters of our emotions. The final component is requests. The opposite of a request is a demand. For example, telling Grace, āCan you stop being angry, stop procrastinating, and stop being difficult?ā is a demandāand a vague one at that. Saying, āNext time Iām late, could you be more understanding? On days when we need to go out, maybe you could try waking up earlier or doing simpler makeup so we can avoid being late,ā is a clear request. We should clearly state what we want from others, rather than telling them what not to do. Making clear requests increases the likelihood of receiving a positive response.ā Title Usage:āNonviolent CommunicationĀ®: A Language of LifeĀ·Global Sold 2,000,000 Copiesā The content is in English with English-Chinese bilingual subtitles. This is a comprehensive summary of the book Using Hollywood production values and cinematic style.
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